Yes, You Deserve Love Too

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The journey of motherhood is filled with unconditional love, endless sacrifice and complete selfless giving.  Through my years of motherhood, I continued to seek aspects of myself that felt unfulfilled. Something within was missing and did not feel whole.  What I realized, even though I loved my little guy tremendously, was that I needed to find myself and rediscover who I was amidst this entire motherhood transformation.  A part of me seemed to have been forgotten and many parts of me completely changed. I lost pieces of me because life happened. Through the birth of a child came in parallel a renewal and birthing of my soul.

As a mother, I got busy with the mothering and rightfully so, given that needs of a young child completely dependent on me.  This child stretched, challenged and taught me many areas of my being I had not yet discovered. The main thing I learned was that I needed to give my soul the gift of time and my own presence.

When my best friend asked me the question who are you?  I stumbled and froze…I started to get curious about my needs, my wants, what I could tolerate and more so who I was not only as a mother but me, myself and I.  This inquisitiveness suddenly became intriguing and brought forth realizations, I needed to understand who I became in the now and in this moment.

Children are brought to our lives to shift us and help us accept all parts of who we are.  Its really about shifting through our inner core to bring us closer to our authentic selves and becoming whole.  When I understood this, I started to connect more deeply with myself rather than my external surroundings. I started to become more real with myself and started to follow that inner tickle in my gut and being.  As a mama, I very well know a lot about self judgement, self-sabotage, never accepting parts of me from the mistakes, imperfections and mishaps. Everything HAD to be perfect, but what I know now is that everything in life is a lesson to be learned about who I am and that there is beauty in all of my imperfections.  All I need to do is love myself first, take care of my insides deeply, and stop trying to be who I am not meant to be based on what the world tells me. What did this mean for me? It meant…

Focusing inward

Treating myself occasionally

Self-reflecting on a regular basis

Meditating

Checking in with my feelings and honouring them

Feeling more at home in me

Becoming more comfortable in my skin

Knowing it is okay to be different

Giving myself permission to rise

Practicing self-compassion

Forgiving myself in moments when I feel I am over stretched

I became worthy of myself and all the spaces within me and this was my true empowering moment.  When I grasped this, I saw my relationships change and especially with my little guy, who now saw a mama looking after herself.  At the end of the day, how you act, what you do and how you respond is what your child learns from you. I learned how to show up fully rather than being controlled by external circumstances which takes continuous practice and effort to be consciously aware.

Now when I look in the mirror everyday, I give myself some love and permission to be the mama I know I am uniquely made and called to be.  Authenticity is rare and I know I got caught up in following the rules but there are no rules. Its just you being you in its entirety stretch marks included! Its not about the expectations of what society puts on me as a mama at all anymore, because society does not understand my mama heart or my mama magic.

So I leave you with this.

Give yourself the love you deserve and so you can than give more love to those around you including your little ones. Make time for the things that matter to you most.  Take time out for you to do what you want. Accept your beauty and be intrigued by who you are so you can teach your child empowerment through how you walk and be a model for their lives. They watch you!  Self-care is not about filling up with stuff but about deeply giving your heart some tender love and care every day. Be proud of how far you come in your motherhood journey because each day is victorious.

Being a mom is a part of you but it is not your identity and does not define who you are.  Mama’s are made strong for a reason, resilient to triumph, soft to give and warriors in strength to provide for the bundles of blessings in your lives. It is an honour and privilege to be a mama, this is for sure, but it all starts with you being you.  When you are home to yourself with complete love this is empowerment!