The "Mom" Friend

“What are your plans this weekend?” Oh, the dreaded question.... How many different ways can you rephrase the same thing I do every weekend since I became a mommy? Laundry, playtime, make dinner, bath time, watch some television with hubby, bedtime for baby...and then maybe if I’m lucky I’ll be able to quickly throw back a glass of wine and enjoy a minute to myself before my head hits the pillow. I’m pretty sure I’ve come up with every variation and rendition of these less than glamorous weekend plans. Long live my weekends dedicated to outings with the girls, shopping, nights dancing, and date nights with hubby. Now, my weekends are much like my weeknights; routine and not really worth a detailed description.   

The transition into mommy-hood hasn’t necessarily been the easiest. Out of my closest circle of friends, I am the first to become a mommy. While most of my friends have a standard 9-5 job, their days off are spent sleeping in and going wherever, whenever they so choose. Face to face interactions with one another have become less frequent, because life has us all going different directions.  Me becoming a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) was a huge sacrifice for our family. But as many families do, we felt the value added outweighed the monetary loss. Since that monetary loss is real, my idea of dates with the girls have changed from brunch and shopping, to wine and cheese nights in my playroom/living room with the added entertainment of my little one running around.  Often times I go a few weeks without seeing my friends and don’t get me wrong, while I definitely need friends, right now my “free” time is limited. By the time I pencil in time with the hubby and a moment for some self-care the week has come and gone.

During my days at home, I often find myself singing silly songs to my little one about our day, or even asking him questions and then answering them myself as he isn’t quite speaking yet. Although I don’t have an extra minute of daylight to be bored persay, being home all week with my son does sometimes leave me craving adult conversation and a reason to get dressed. Since everyone is busy being at work, texting is an easy way to check in and quickly catch up.  With the company of my son, I am never physically ever alone but unfortunately that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments where I feel alone. Winter time is the hardest, with minimal sunlight and the inability to get outside for our daily walk, the opportunities for any outside communication are very limited. I know I’m not the only SAHM who feels this way, but I do feel like it is a topic that is rarely talked about.

For me, it comes in waves. Some days are easier than others, and some days you feel like you can’t escape the isolation. If you’re reading this I hope you take a minute to pat yourself on the back and enjoy every moment with your little one. This time of loneliness is only temporary and a side effect of being the best momma you can be. For right now, I am the “mom friend”... the friend who shows up late to everything, the dressed down friend with the token “mom bun” or ponytail hairstyle and minimal makeup, the friend who can only do the occasional dinner date because it falls right in the middle of my sons bedtime routine and we can’t exactly spare the extra cost.   Of course there are times I miss the freedom of my pre-mom life, but becoming the “mom friend” has helped me grow into the person I have always wanted to be. I have changed for the better and right now being a mom not only consumes me, but it fulfills me in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

Can you relate to Iliana's experience? How have your friendships been impacted since becoming a mother? Please share some of your stories in the comments below.

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