Apologizing for our mistakes is OK. It holds us accountable as we verbally acknowledge our weakness or slip-up. It should then be followed up by a promise or hope to do better in the future. Apologies should be standard when we hurt someone, misuse their trust or don’t follow through on a commitment. But when is it OK to apologize to ourselves and when should we STOP?
Missing a PTO meeting, forgetting a present for the 3rd birthday party that weekend, or not calling your bestie back after that epic 3 yr. old temper tantrum are small potato apologies compared to the ones we, as moms, say to ourselves in the mirror. When the chores pile up and the schedule is out of control we can tend to take it all on. Every failure. Every mis-step. So we apologize. To our husbands, to our friends, and to our children. Ladies - we are apologizing for LIFE HAPPENING. Let’s make a pact to stop doing that today!
It is understandable to say “I’m sorry” when you feel like you haven’t lived up to a promise or couldn’t follow through, but not when you are suffering from mommy guilt. When you are taking on family, friends, work, kids, home, personal time (huh?) something is bound to give. So perhaps you should only apologize for trying to be Super Mom. Overloading yourself and trying to be everything to everyone never works out. Because the one person you forget about is YOU. Lessons in time management and making time for “me time” is an entirely separate subject and warrants more thought than we have time for today. All I’ll say now is to just take a quick look at what you have going on around you and try to set yourself up for success. Some things can fall through the cracks, or be scratched off the calendar….save yourself the apology later.
What follows an apology is forgiveness, we hope. But let’s put that cart in front of the horse. Forgive yourself first and don’t even apologize. You are your own best friend or worst enemy and a friend should love you despite your faults. Start each day recognizing that you are human. Broken, flailing, struggling, and imperfect. But look at you! You got out of bed. Maybe showered. Thought about showering? Good enough. Your kids are fed. Who cares if it’s mac n’ cheese for breakfast. Who doesn’t love to play around with food ideas. You are now COOL MOM. Go you. Dropped kids off late at school? Meh. They got to school didn’t they? See where this is going? Pat yourself on the back for what went RIGHT today and carry on.
Celebrate your wins. Even if they are half-assed. Half of an ass if better than no ass. Put a hashtag on that!
I love Amy's encouragement to forgive yourself first and to stop apologizing for life happening. How does it make you feel when life gets too overwhelming- do you apologize to everyone but yourself? Do you think you will be able to take Amy's advice to heart and start taking care of you first? Please share in the comments below, momma!