Small Acts of Encouragement
After I drop my kids off at school in the morning, I frequent the local donut shop, maybe once or twice a week. Yeah, I said it, I like donuts, glazed ones, and I’m not sorry. I mean what Mom doesn’t like to get any sort of food that she can eat in silence, and doesn’t have to share? But we're all friends here, so no judgement right? Now that my confession is out of the way, I can get back to my story.
So, every time I go into the shop, I get one glazed donut. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
One day, not long ago, I go in, and I say, "Just one glazed, please."
The store owner carefully picks out my breakfast treat and I go to trade my $.85 for the small white bag, and she says, "It's on the house today."
I quickly reply, "Oh, thank you so much." and I make an awkward run for the door. Now let me clarify, I only bolted because if I would have stood there a second longer, I would have burst into tears, and boy oh boy, when my van door shut, I lost it.
Why, you ask, did I have such an emotional reaction to a free donut? I asked myself the same question. Why in the world was I sobbing over a random act of kindness? After much thought, I think in that moment of a small kind gesture, I was seen, I was acknowledged, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Before I walked in that shop, I didn't know I needed that. I didn't realize I was feeling invisible, like the world was happening all around me, like I was standing still, while everyone else lived. My mamma heart was so heavy, with feelings of inadequacy, and I hadn’t seen it till then.
Just as light bulb of clarity went on, the negativity came in, my all too familiar voice, that makes me question most everything. "Did I look sad? Did I look like I needed charity? What was wrong with me today, that I needed someone to be kind to me? How could I be "enough" for someone to want to do something nice for me that could bring me encouragement?”. Oh those mean voices a lot of us Mommas have, and all the negative thoughts that make us question everything we do, compare ourselves to other Moms, and truly just make one of the greatest joys, being a Mom, sometimes really tough. I am usually the first to buy into these lies, but this time, I didn't.
This small act of kindness, encouraged me, catapulted my thoughts to a place of gratitude, and helped me realize over the following weeks, that I had been under a heaviness of "not feeling like enough" for my children or for anyone.
This gift of a donut, as strange as it sounds, encouraged me tremendously and brought me to a place of beginning to change my feelings of myself in regards to motherhood and so much more. I am enough for my kids. I love them unconditionally and work hard everyday to raise compassionate, responsible, and loving little people. I am enough.
So if you are thinking your small act won't be enough to encourage, think again. If you think you are not enough, to receive that encouragement, I know you are.
I've learned through my life to just keep your eyes and ears open. God can choose even something as small as a donut to encourage and bring change to your life, and for that I am grateful. I am especially grateful that God can use carbs for good a thing, and that in itself should be enough to encourage us all.
1. Do you struggle with those same voices, always making you second guess everything, convincing you aren't enough?
2. What is one thing someone has done for you,though it was small, it made a huge impact?