Mothering You

I get it! I know.. You feel like as a mom, you need to be a superhero. After all, that’s what a good mom does right? “A good mom puts everyone else’s needs before hers, cleans, cooks does everything and does it immaculately.” Right?

Wrong!!! But even if you cannot keep up with doing all of those things you are still a superhero. You are more valuable than rubies and the rarest diamonds in the world. I need you to know that, believe it and own it.

So many times as moms we’re placed on this pedestal of perfection that leaves us feeling horrible if we falter even once. The pressure to me "Miss-perfect mom" is enough to drown anyone!

It’s time to start mothering you!  Yes, your kids need you, yes your partner needs you. But you’ve got to realize that you’re just as important as they are.

The truth of the matter is if you don’t take care of you. There will be no more of you to take care of anyone!

Bad self-care leads to a whole lot of problems.

What kind of problems you say? How about poor health? Burnout? Poor self-esteem?

7 tips on self-care.

1: Input = Output

One of the most important things that we aren’t taught in school is the importance of daily mindset work. What are the things you tell yourself about yourself? What are the things that you consume? Do these things promote health, strength, and progress? Or does it dry you out, & bring negativity & ill feelings into your life? We cannot on our own improve if we have no idea what needs improving. Reading good books is transformative. A great book can change your life! You are the master of your life. Ruler of your domain, you have every right to say no to the things you don’t want & yes to the amazing things you do. Always remember that what you feed your mind & your body is what you get out!

2: Set time aside daily for yourself:

Every day that you wake up, you have to decide to be courageous, happy & fulfilled. Courage in the form of self-care means setting time aside to just do for you. Maybe that means waking up earlier than everyone else, or going to bed later so you can shower, do your hair & makeup, read a good book, have a praise session, eat ice cream or do whatever. Just do it. Use that time to do something for you. Something that makes you feel amazing & replenishes your tank. This is something I have struggled with myself. I know that none of these things I have recommended are easy, but it’s a must. I’ve spent so many days feeling burned out, tired & straight up frustrated, once I started to set time aside for myself things got better. Don’t get me wrong,  I know how challenging life is & I don’t think any of us can escape the grip of struggle but taking the time to recharge amidst the chaos & the calm helps create a stronger mindset and ultimately a happier you. It’s a work in progress, but it’s completely doable.

3: Find an activity that you enjoy and do it often

I enjoy writing! During my rough childhood days, I wrote EVERYTHING sometimes in code because my mother would go through my stuff frequently. But that act was soothing for me. As an adult, it’s something I still practice. Writing helps me get things on paper & declutter my mind. It helps me breathe. Oddly enough, when I’m anxious, or I have a lot on my heart  I have to write because if I don’t, I will blow. To me writing is more than just soothing, it makes me happy. Going over what I wrote (sometimes I write fiction stories) make me feel good to see on paper what  I see so vividly in my head. Here's my suggestion for you. What do you like to do? Is it painting? Playing the clarinet? Drawing? Talking? Sketching? Dressing up? Playing video games? If you don’t know what it is, it’s time to find out! And do it. Set a separate place in your house that’s just for this one activity & do it as often as you can.  You can do this sweetheart! You can flourish and blossom like the beautiful, strong flower you are. Spending time with yourself will help you build your self-worth, your self-awareness, and personal strength which will help you better serve others.

4: Be yourself, do not change to suit others

Sometimes staying true to who we are when we’re multiple different things for multiple different people is overwhelming, stressful & draining. Staying true to who you are taking work but it’s possible. You don’t have to be anyone but you to make the people around you happy. You’re loved for the million of things about you that are different from everybody else. Learn to love you, learn to see the value in who you are. Make yourself happy & everyone around you will happy for you.

5: Delegate tasks that you don’t like doing or don’t have time to do.

You don’t have to do EVERYTHING! Feeling too tired to make dinner? Order out. Ask your partner to cook. Invite friends over for a potluck dinner. The list of creative ideas is numerous. Cleaning the house takes too much time out of your day? Hire a cleaner to come once a week or something. The point is, you don’t need to do everything. Hire help; it’s ok. If you need permission, this is me giving you permission. Stop tiring yourself out doing tasks that someone else can do while you focus on being great at the things you like doing. I'm not giving you permission to be lazy 24/7 or to be a bad mom/partner. I'm encouraging you to realize that it's ok to get help in the areas that you’re struggling or can’t find the time to do.

6: Schedule your time & use the RPM method to help you save time.

Being a Tony Robbins follower teaches you a lot of things. One thing I’ve learned from him is RPM (Rapid planning method) according to Tony Robbins “RPM planning is a way to maximize the results of your life and maximize your sense of fulfillment and joy. What’s most important to you as an outcome (a result) and why it is important to you (your purpose) will give you the juice to move forward toward realizing your dreams. If you’ve got a strong enough reason and a strong enough purpose, you will figure out how to pull it off.” Many people have utilized this method with great results. So instead of writing a “to do list” and crossing things off, you bundle up things that are similar and do it all at the same time. He says something so amazingly profound that I  agree with, where focus goes, energy flows. What you put your concentrate on is where your power go. So decide to create a system, a routine of sorts that helps you maximize your time and aids you in productivity. If you want to know more about Tony Robbins you can visit his site www.tonyrobbins.com. He also has some amazing videos on youtube.

7: Allow yourself to feel your emotions, don’t bottle them up.

When you feel down what do you do? Do you or someone else tell you to suck it up and feel better? That’s wrong advice! Don’t suck it up. Sucking it up will eventually lead to an explosion of massive proportions. Allow yourself to feel your emotions responsibly. Nope, I’m not giving you an excuse to beat someone’s head in because you're angry. I’m saying if you’re upset, allow yourself to feel your anger, know why you’re mad, process it, do whatever you need to (not violently) to express your feelings to the person/thing that makes you angry. It may sound silly but it works, trust me. Ride the waves of your frustration, relish in your happiness. Dance if you feel to, scream if you need to but NEVER bottle up your feelings.

A lot of these things I’ve deployed in my life & it has helped me tremendously. I want you to live a happy fulfilled life. I want what’s best for you, your family & everyone in your world. I want you to live a life so extraordinary that every day feels like a vacation. I hope this post reminds you of how amazingly perfect you are. I hope it shows you a new way to harbor self-love & express it through vigorous self-care. I hope it shows you how important it is to focus on you & harness your personal power. The first step to succeeding or improving is to realize that there is a problem that needs fixing. I believe that you’ve recognized that problem and you will take crystal clear steps to implement & focus on the things I have pointed out.

There is an abundance of greatness in you. Now is the time for you to realize it and care for yourself, focus on bettering you & living a life that is in alignment with your desires. Remember self-care & self-love is not selfish, it’s imperative.

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