Moms, Time to Take a Stand for Yourself!

Some days, overloaded is an understatement! As mothers, we can all relate to taking on too much and the guilt we feel that we just can’t do everything. However, it is important to remind ourselves that we are only human. We can only do so much with the hours in the day and sometimes we should ask for help. Which is quite hard for some of us?  Which is why some of us just take on everything to get it done right and some of us don’t have a choice.

 

As moms, I think we all have a vision of how the responsibilities will be divided out, but somehow that is not what ended up being the reality. We think it will be 50/50 and a give and take when it came to things. How that panes out is another story. All too often I find in talking to my fellow moms that we are drained and overwhelmed. Our days start at dawn and don’t end until well after dusk.  Some of us are responsible for all meals, baths, daycare pick/drop-off, paying the bills, grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning and anything else that falls on the list of to-dos. Now imagine how we do all that while maintaining full-time jobs and oh yeah, trying to carve out some “mommy” time. At the end of most days most of us are so mentally drained that we can barely keep our eyes open to watch one of our favorite shows or read a book. Yet, the guilt we feel if we are unable to accomplish everything is overwhelming. While there is no instant solution, there are ways to help relieve this guilt and not take on too much at one time.

The answer is to learn to manage your time, prioritize and delegate. Delegating is hard for some of us. As moms, we tend to take control so that everything gets done effectively and efficiently. However, at the end of the day we must ask ourselves to what degree do we want to drive ourselves crazy and drain ourselves. When some of us moms are being stretched to our limits, we must learn to let go and truly ask or demand help. I say demand because not all of us have someone that is willing to help, so as such we end up taking on the bulk of the responsibility. By asking or demanding the help we need it leaves us time to do other things that need to be done, take some much needed “mommy time” and not feel overwhelmed with being the one doing it all. With that comes a lot of relief and ability to not be resentful or feel guilty for taking on so much. I think all moms can relate to this issue.

We all know too well the sense of resentment and frustration we feel when we are getting very little help and expected to take on too much. I see it all the time that women feel devalued, disrespected, unworthy and unhappy. These women have put themselves on the back burner and lost the sense of self that helps define what kind mom, wife or friend that we want and can be. They are left with the guilt of taking on too much and the weight of being overwhelmed and overstressed. Many of these moms are stretched to their utter limits and have issues with weight, self-confidence and self-worth. So enough is enough, it is time for us as moms to voice our concerns, ask for the help we should be getting and take a stand for US!!

So, my advice to all moms out there is take a stand and stop stretching yourself so thin. Know when you can do it all and when you should ask for help. When you have a significant other that is not willing to help, make sure you voice your frustrations and come to a common ground on sharing responsibilities. As moms, I think we always take on too much but we can always learn to know when we need to say no. It is also important to find a support system: mom tribe, friends, family. Find time for yourself so you can recharge and can be the mom, wife and friend that you want to and can be. Know that you are superwoman but even superwoman needs a day off sometimes. I think as women we are so strong and resilient that we are capable of so much and therefore we do take on so much but it doesn’t hurt to know when to ask for help or say no. Don’t let the guilt of taking on too much weigh you down anymore, YOU HAVE THE POWER SO USE IT!!!

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