Hey Motherhood, Where'd My Friends Go?
I had no idea that once that newborn phase was over, once my home was no longer frequented by excited visitors, that I would have to arrange my new social life. I figured that most of my friends would understand the shift that a child makes in your priorities, or that they would just wait around for me to be ready to continue our hang outs. It just didn't happen that way.
I spent the first year enthralled by my beautiful child, so much so that I (yes it was my fault) forgot to nurture the friendships that needed it. From the outside I'm sure I looked like a crazy, overprotective, mom hermit… which was kind of true, but I was also just doing what new moms do. People would text me, and every once and awhile they would pop over, but they'd only usually stayed until a boob came out or a poopy diaper needed to be changed. Then they would excuse themselves.
As my baby grew, so did my independence. That didn't mean that I was necessarily ready to leave her for a day and hit the town. But I did want to leave my house, and have real adult conversations. I started sending out conversation starters, and invited to go for coffee or tea, and was a little surprised and hurt when only one or two were responded too. I had lost my friends to motherhood.
However, as I cried (thanks hormones) and tried to make sense of the situation, I realized that sure, I had lost friends…. but what if they were just distracted like I had been. That maybe I just needed to give them some time and focus on the few who still prioritized me.
That decision was the best ever. I gained a few adventure friends. Ones who will continue to support me and not judge my journey through motherhood. To be honest, for the most part I didn't gain those other friends back, but I also don't mind. It was time for me to prioritize myself and make myself happy. And the few friends did that.
Plus I have the BEST little best friend at home. She is worth a change in lifestyle.