Motherhood is a beautiful thing but it also comes with some very real insecurities. As part of a generation where the role of mom is not so cookie-cutter it can create some very daunting feelings of how you stack up to other moms. I have to say that it wasn’t until I became a mother that I actually truly understood these types of feelings and how debilitating it can be sometimes. Insecurity is one feeling that can come from many different sources. It can come from being a mom feeling different about your body or insecure about how you will accomplish all the things you need or want to do. The transition into motherhood can be difficult for some but it doesn’t have to be. Here are my seven tips on how to deal with insecurity as a new mom.
Perfection is not reality.
Of course we all want to be the perfect mom but how we see the perfect mom is different and varies for every single person. I believe that when we concentrate too much on being this perfect mom we have in our head, we miss out on many opportunities and memories that are happening right in front of us. Although it is definitely a good thing to want to be the best mom possible we also have to learn to let go and know that things will work themselves out. My motto is, always strive for greatness but know you're only human.
Don’t be afraid to break the mold.
Being unique is what sets us all a part and the same goes for motherhood. I believe that we can all create our own sense of perfection in being different moms and being able to appreciate that you’re not cookie-cutter, you create your own mold. This also becomes more freeing experience because it gives you the ability to actually truly be the mom you want to be and you're able to let go of that image of perfection.
Join a mom tribe.
Communities just like Project Mother are amazing way for mothers to connect not just so that they can relate to motherhood but also to help deal with feelings such as insecurity. And knowing you have other people that understand what you’re going through and are there to help you along the way. I think that these types of communities are fundamental to society today and helping mothers in a generation that is far different than it was 50 years ago.
Find time for yourself.
All too often moms become consumed with all of the responsibilities we have and even responsibilities that aren’t technically ours. But finding time for yourself is a key ingredient to being able to be the best mom you can. It also helps you deal with these feelings of insecurity so that you can work on yourself not just physically but mentally and spiritually so that you can overcome these types of feelings and be the best mom possible. Mommy time is vital to being a good mommy.
Find a Positive Outlet.
We’ve all been there, depressed had a bad day and we reach for the big carton of ice cream. But what we’re also doing is furthering the insecurity problem and on top of that we’re creating habits for our children that we don’t realize and we don’t see until later on. Although food is the key ingredient to life it is not a source of an emotional crutch when you’re dealing with insecurity because furthers the problem. If you’re going to use a crutch for insecurity or different emotional issues make it a positive one such as reading a book, writing poetry or working out not only will you be helping yourself in many ways but you will also be creating a wonderful habit for your child as well.
Embrace the mistakes.
We’re human, we’re going to make mistakes but instead of beating ourselves up and creating more security from it, embrace that unfortunately we all are human. We can learn from those mistakes as mothers, we're not perfect you're going to make decisions that you regret or have an action that we do and wish we could take back but the best thing we can do is learn from them so that we can be a better mom and perhaps share that advice with others. Mistakes make us human, not bad moms.
Let insecurity be your motivator.
We are not perfect and our imperfections make us unique. By letting go and enjoying the little things you can learn to cope with insecurity and become the person you want to be. Insecurity is something that is hard to deal with but you can use it as a motivator. Let those feelings drive you to overcome them and be better.
Hopefully these seven tips will help you with the feelings of insecurity. Know you are not alone we all go through it at sometime or another. Insecurity isn’t what defines us but what helps us define who we want to be.