A New Year's Pep Talk- And I Mean Business
Happy New Year! The holidays are behind us and we have officially marked one more rotation around the sun. Many of us, myself included, like to make New Year’s Resolutions this time of year. The start of a new year seems like a good time to make changes that will better our lives, give us a fresh start, and hopefully make the year ahead better than the one left behind. Heaven knows there are A LOT of moving parts in a mom’s life, it feels like we spend a lot of time behind the 8-ball and there is a LOT that needs improving.
For the most part, it’s a good thing to reflect on one’s life, identify areas that need improvement, and to set about bettering ourselves. Except for one teeeeeeny tiny little problem: this sort of self-reflection unfortunately provides the PERFECT opportunity for us to be way too hard on ourselves- a practice that moms in general tend to be VERY good at, by the way. The line between “I could be better at this” and “I’m not good enough” is thin, flimsy, and far too easy to cross, PARTICULARLY in a culture that has standards for womanhood and motherhood that I’m pretty sure NO HUMAN BEING could possibly achieve.
So I’m here today, ladies, to talk some sense into all of us. Picture me raising my eyebrow and giving all of us (including and especially my li’l ol’ self) THAT LOOK that I give my kids when I want them to know I mean business and I’m saying this to us:
Don’t you DARE, even for a second, let yourself cross the line between “I could do better” into “I’m not good enough.” You do that, and I swear that I will personally find you and kick your rear end all the way back to 2016, AND DOES ANYBODY REALLY WANT TO GO BACK THERE? I don’t think so.
We, ladies, are already good and worthy to the very core of who we are. Do we all make mistakes? Heck yeah! Could we all do better? Of course! Should we try to do better by ourselves, our partners, our kids, our friends, our families, our neighbors and our fellow humans- DUH! But don’t let’s confuse “self-improvement” with “self-proving.” We don’t need to lose 20 lbs so that we can finally be worthy of love or good enough or pretty enough. We already ARE enough. Sure there are many benefits to losing 20 lbs, it would make my clothes fit better and I would feel like I was WINNING AT LIFE if I pulled it off and I’m quite certain it would improve my overall health. But it’s not going to change who I am or make my kids love me more, even if I think it will- which is simultaneously the most encouraging and discouraging thought I’ve had all day, bless my heart . :-)
So let’s do the honest work of examining our lives and picking a thing or two we could focus on that would help make our lives run more smoothly or help us enjoy our life a little more. Myself, I’m going to work on establishing a workout routine for myself (and just maaaaaaybe shave a few of these second baby pounds off the process) and daily routines for my kids that involve PICKING UP AFTER THEMSELVES! UGH!
But I’m also setting a goal for myself to remember that these things may make my life feel better, but I don’t need them to be ENOUGH as a mom and a woman. I’m committed to embracing that I AM ENOUGH AS A MOM AND A WOMAN JUST AS I AM and that my goals are just about making something good even better.
So run HARD after your goals, give it all you’ve got. But know that you are ALREADY enough. And also know that if you forget that, I may just have to come for you. As long as you promise to do the same for me, I’ll need it ;-)
What a great pep talk and reminder! What resolutions and goals are you setting for you or your family this year? And how can we support you to keep you on track? Let us know in the comments below or hop on over to the Facebook Support Group to share!