First Days Of Motherhood - I Forgot My Mom Duties
At 3:52 am I became a mom. I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours in my first days of motherhood.
Eyes were so heavy I was dozing off as I was posting new pictures of my nugget on social media. Family and friends greeted me all day, and coffee just couldn’t give me enough caffeine to fight the exhaustion. My arm was almost asleep from holding my baby hours on end. I just couldn’t put her down. I waited nine months to be laying in bed with her. My cheeks hurt from smiling all day. I was in pure bliss.
I was finally a MOM!
The only thing that kept me wide-eyed was the view I had been looking at for 12 hours. I created this beauty, and I didn't care if I had no sleep, I was going to take in all the moments those first few hours.
But, I was so engulfed in my baby that I forgot that I now was blessed with mother duties.
It's 1 am and it's my first night in the hospital, and my baby is inconsolable. I felt like in my tired state that I had done everything I could think of that would require her to be upset. I fed her, burped her, loved her, and rocked her.
What else could I do? I was stressed, frazzled, and was having thoughts of holy crap I don’t know if I like being a mom.
She was screaming the top her lungs for a half hour; I felt like I may just join in with her.
Then the Gods answered my prayers, and a nurse entered my room.
“Is everything ok” in her sweet voice.
Holding back tears, I said “no” I don’t know what's wrong with my baby.
She went through the list, just like I did. Except she added an item that was not only obvious but one item I didn’t even think of in my crazy moments.
Don’t judge me, remember I had only been a mom for 12 hours.
“Did you change her diaper.”
HOLY SHIT! NO!
How did I forget to think she may have a diaper change. I looked at my husband in disbelief. Thoughts crossed my mind. Am I up for this job, am I a horrible mother??
She changed her diaper, and my baby was happy as a clam.
Let’s just say I never forgot to change her diaper again.
Two days later I had my first doctors appointment.
We ran out the house, and I grabbed my purse and my new bundle of joy in her car seat.
We were in the doctors office, and the nurse entered the room. Mind you this is my first appointment with the baby.
She asked me to take her diaper off so we could get an exact weight. As I took her diaper off she had a poopie diaper.
First thoughts were, oh great she had to poop now! Second thought was where is my diaper bag? I looked around, looked at my husband. I even asked him where it was? He gave me a look like; I don't know. Why would he know, it wasn't his job.
Then a rush of shock flooded me.
I FORGOT TO BRING A DIAPER BAG!!
I had never had to bring one. My mouth opened as soon as I realized I had no diapers or wipes with me, and I had a poopie diaper with nothing to change her.
I wanted to cry; I wanted to run out of the office and scream on my way out "I'm a shitty mom, be back when I get myself together."
I gathered myself.
I then looked at the nurse with embarrassment and asked her for a diaper. She said they don’t give them out.
Oh man. My heart was pounding, I gave her a look of desperation.
I begged and explained to her my situation. My explanation was I’m a new mom, and I forgot one of my mom duties. You know, the bag of everything you need? Yeah, I forgot it.
I was a mess, a complete mess.
I was a new mom that didn’t know how to be a mom. I felt like my brain was fried, and mushy of information and no schedule of sorts.
I had a pit in my stomach for months, anxiety that would hit me at a moments notice.
Why is she always crying? Why is being a mom so hard in the beginning?
I soon figured out that you figure it out. I was a little rusty as a mom in the beginning. But days of learning lessons, nights of feeding her late, and reading a crapload of blogs and books.
I now can say; I know how to be a mom. I have a two-year-old that I have changed a million diapers, have bagged her belongings in my diaper bag on the daily, and now get to write about my shortcomings and discoveries as a mother.
Being a mom is hard, but being a new mom is so much harder.
Good luck new mamas, you will figure it out. I promise.
BY MEGAN SPITERI OF THE MOTHER EFFIN TRUTH