Friendship After Baby
When I was pregnant people flocked to me, phoned me, texted me, showered me for months and then baby came. After my sons arrival we had many texts and phone calls, but they quickly dissipated. Was it because we asked for privacy and alone time those first few weeks? Was I less interesting as a mom as opposed to a pregnant gal expecting her first? Or was it because my priorities shifted, (as they should) which meant less hang time with friends? I quickly realized I couldn't question why it happened, it just did.
Some friends with children pushed their views on my parenting choices and their child rearing methods too forcefully and turned me off. To be blunt, at this point in my life I don't need that negativity. My feelings were hurt, but I turned my focus on the friendships that seemed to be growing stronger and filled with positivity. The "positive vibe" friends with children opened up to me and we have regular conversations all about baby. I needed those ladies to let me vent and ask first time mom questions to. One of my friends that I grew closer with has no children. I was surprised post baby we were closer, but it was proof that there are rare friendships that need to be cherished. This friend checked on us daily while in NICU, drove 30 minutes out of her way just to bring me coffee, spent lunch breaks with me and continues to ask how we are even when her plate is overflowing. A friendship like none other. I take the time to show her how much we appreciate her.
I don't think my other friends don't care about us, I think life catches up and I'm possibly less interesting as mom. I also realized I need new friends. New mom friends. I created a private Facebook group that consists of 12 moms with children from 2 months to 4 years. I'm building my tribe. The tribe didn't fall in my lap, it took some time. We support one another and the most important part of our group is no judgement. We are all part of the #mothermanifesto, rock our #mothershirts and love the #mothermovement.
Some friendships will fade and that's okay. The friendships that grow stronger need to be cherished. New friendships help build your tribe, so put forth the effort. Keep the positive vibes around.
BY: MELISSA CHAMBERS