Re-Discovering Who You Are and Loving Yourself More in the Process
When was the last time someone asked you to share a bit about who you are? To describe yourself in a job interview, to submit an about me paragraph, or introduce yourself in a new group setting? I admire those women who in a self assured way can quickly describe who they are and what they do without skipping a beat. I on the other hand find myself caught off guard and all of a sudden can’t seem to remember all of the little things and unique facts that make up who I am on the spot. Heck coming up with the about me details on my website is something that for me is in a perpetual blinking cursor phase, never quite complete or finalized. And while most oftentimes the term “mother” or something along those lines makes an appearance--that is not all of who I am.
While I love my kids more than they will ever understand, lately I have been feeling as if motherhood is swallowing me up a bit--or a lot. Am I alone in this? I will never forget preparing for a job interview a few years ago and my husband suggesting to prepare a mental list of talents, hobbies or things that I was good at to showcase my strengths-ha! I think at the time the answers that quickly came to mind were: getting a baby on a schedule, breastfeeding--finally got the hang of that, and making your own baby food? Pathetic huh?
In the years since I have been shaped and changed by motherhood, but how am I to be myself completely, confidently and love myself, if at times all of who I am seems a bit obscured in a foggy bathroom mirror? I have prepared for us mothers a getting to you exercise of sorts. This is nothing fancy or super structured with tasks to complete everyday--who has time for that? Take as much time as you need, allow yourself to enjoy answering these questions without the influence of knowing how others would answer. Just be yourself, there are no wrong answers.
Part One: Self Re-Discovery Questions
Instructions: Jot down your answer on pen and paper to each two-part question leaving plenty of room. Feel free to take your time and give honest answers, no one else will read this and be sure to answer your reason why to hopefully gain a better understanding of what experiences and decisions have helped shape who you are.
What is your favorite color? Why? Is there a favorite memory/experience/feeling?
What is your favorite food/meal? Why?
Describe to yourself your idea of a perfect weekend in detail and the reasons why.
What are you most passionate about? Why?
List a couple of things that really bother you. Why?
You feel most beautiful when/in/around/wearing… Why?
List 5 talents, big or small that make you proud of who you are. Why?
You feel most accomplished when? Why?
Describe your personal clothing/decorating style. Why? Hint: Pinterest is not a real answer-dig deep.
List 2 things you want to experience/accomplish before your next birthday. Why?
What do you do for yourself to feel calm/joy/balanced? Why?
Part Two: Close Family/ Friend Interview Questions
Instructions: Ask a close family member or friend that knows you really well and ask them these few questions. The key is to listen objectively and with an open mind so as not to be too sensitive or defensive. You may be pleasantly surprised to hear how they describe who you are.
What would you say are some of my strengths and weaknesses?
Everyone thinks its funny when I…?
What is something you think I do really well?
What is a reason I am a great daughter/sister/friend?
What is one of your favorite memories of me and why?
I hope you will take the time to really think through your answers and personal reasons for answering the way you did. As well as enjoy getting to know yourself from a loved one’s point of view.
When I had my first baby I felt like all of my insecurities reached the surface as I was navigating through uncharted territory. Through the years I have felt myself being influenced by so many different things and people that I have had to stop and assess if they truly resonate with who I really am deep down. It is so easy to scroll through social media and want to reinvent aspects of who we are because it seems others are experiencing more success, joy, or recognition for what they are doing and sharing. Before we realize it we find ourselves in a bit of a time warp as if we were in elementary school again agreeing with everything our friends say with a “me too” forgetting that some differences are good--healthy even.
These past few months have been a time for personal reflection as I have re-evaluated my personal “why” in respect to so many things I do and love in an effort to really understand who I am. As women and mothers, our natural tendencies to serve and act selflessly may at times make it hard for us to remember who we really are and what we love. It is easy to put ourselves close to last, forgetting to celebrate who we are. I hope we can take time to often reflect, rediscover, and allow ourselves to walk tall-- wholeheartedly loving who we are, inspiring others to do the same.